My solar eclipse report

I did not see the solar eclipse yesterday.¹Thanks for reading!

Unfortunately, at 11:07:10 a.m. PDT yesterday, I was sitting in my office taking part in the first of four back-to-back meetings. My office doesn’t have any windows either, at least not ones that face the exterior,²One wall of my office is a big window, but it’s frosted and faces the interior atrium. so I couldn’t even glance up from Zoom to sneak a peek while someone else was talking.

Honestly though, I’m not really all that broken up about it. I’m usually a pretty big “you should go out of your way to see neat things for yourself” kind of guy, but solar eclipses are one of the few things that are actually better seen via photograph as opposed to with your own (appropriately shielded) eyes.

For previous solar eclipses, I’ve done the homemade eclipse viewing box thing and I’ve gone the flimsy protective glasses route. Neither one of them are that satisfactory, which is why people with poor impulse control usually end up just staring directly at it and risking severe retina damage.

Those methods certainly don’t hold a candle³Is this a pun? I don’t know. It’s light-related, so it’s in the neighborhood of a pun. to what you can get with a moderately decent camera. By 11:08, the internet was overflowing with awesome photos which were all better than anything I could have seen myself.⁴The sky was actually clear here for once, but at our longitude we only reached 33.9% maximum coverage. That’s good enough for me.

One thing photos can’t get you, though, is the communal experience that events like this often foster. All day long, my feeds were filled with pictures and posts of people who joined their neighbors, took their kids out of school, or just shared the experience with total strangers. It was refreshing to see a good chunk of North America behave civilly towards one another and share a common sense of wonder and excitement, even if it was for just a few minutes. The fact that it was about something science-related is a nice bonus.⁵I’m just going to ignore the folks who claimed the eclipse heralded the coming of the Antichrist or the return of the aliens who built the pyramids.

For those of you who did venture outside to look at the spectacle up above, I hope you got a decent show. And for those of you who had a sky full of clouds, well…c’est la vie. I wish you better luck when the next two North American total solar eclipses take place in 2044 and 2045.

In other news…

• Scientists now believe that dogs can understand that nouns refer to specific objects in addition to processing verbal commands, a finding that comes as no surprise to anyone who has actually owned a dog.
• A pair of brothers have left behind what is possibly the largest collection of Star Trek memorabilia in the world.⁶Also, yikes on that editor’s note.
• State legislators in Tennessee took off their tin foil hats long enough⁷Or maybe they left them on. I don’t know. to pass a ban on geoengineering efforts, fueled of course by a belief in ludicrous chemtrail conspiracy theories.
• A recent letter to the Dear Abby column⁸Pauline Phillips, a.k.a. Abigail Van Buren, has been dead for 11 years, yet she’s still credited as the one responding to all those letters. Wait until the Tennessee legislature hears about that. got real dark real quick when someone shared what their grandfather kept behind the family’s barn.
• A man plead guilty to stealing a functional solid gold toilet from Winston Churchill’s birthplace, proving once again that American historical sites really need to step up their game.
• And in one last bit of sun-related news, apparently the Sun Baby from Teletubbies now has a baby herself, although presumably it is not a massive, hot ball of plasma.⁹Must take after the father.

Last night at the ballpark

Last night was the fourth regular season home game for the local nine¹⁰Or ten, I guess, with the unholy abomination that is the designated hitter in the NL. and the highly anticipated debut of newly acquired Cy Young incumbent Blake Snell. Giants fans came dressed for the occasion.

The Daughter joined me at the ballpark because she’s on spring break and can do such things on a weeknight. Unfortunately, she appears to be bad luck for the home team, because they’ve looked absolutely listless at both games she’s attended so far this year.¹¹She’s joining me again tonight, so sorry everybody.

Snell’s big debut was a mixed bag—three innings with five strikeouts, but also three runs and a lot of pitches thrown to get those nine outs. The bullpen gave up another five runs down the stretch, but it didn’t really matter because the Giants’ offense barely showed a pulse. Perhaps the whole night was best summed up by a play where the Nationals scored by stealing home on a poorly executed rundown.

If there was one silver lining to the evening, it was the continued emergence of Jung Hoo Lee as a bona fide dude. Whether he’s creating offense with some savvy base running or gunning down fools from center field, his style of play is fun to watch. He’s well-suited for the leadoff role and, if the Giants’ 2-3-4 hitters could figure out how to bring him home, he could really spark some offensive success.¹²Which would be a nice change of pace.

• 1
  Thanks for reading!
• 2
  One wall of my office is a big window, but it’s frosted and faces the interior atrium.
• 3
  Is this a pun? I don’t know. It’s light-related, so it’s in the neighborhood of a pun.
• 4
  The sky was actually clear here for once, but at our longitude we only reached 33.9% maximum coverage.
• 5
  I’m just going to ignore the folks who claimed the eclipse heralded the coming of the Antichrist or the return of the aliens who built the pyramids.
• 6
  Also, yikes on that editor’s note.
• 7
  Or maybe they left them on. I don’t know.
• 8
  Pauline Phillips, a.k.a. Abigail Van Buren, has been dead for 11 years, yet she’s still credited as the one responding to all those letters. Wait until the Tennessee legislature hears about that.
• 9
  Must take after the father.
• 10
  Or ten, I guess, with the unholy abomination that is the designated hitter in the NL.
• 11
  She’s joining me again tonight, so sorry everybody.
• 12
  Which would be a nice change of pace.