Thanks, Dave

Looking back on it, I watched way too much Late Night with David Letterman as a kid.

I don’t even really know how I did it. My parents put me to bed at a reasonable hour, but somehow, someway, I managed to discover Dave as a youngster and was instantly hooked. I know it must have been sometime prior to 1987, because I was pretty bummed about Friday Night Videos bumping Letterman off the air once a week.¹Fortunately, NBC came to their senses in 1987 and gave Dave five nights a week.

If you want to know where my sense of humor, and honestly a large chunk of personality overall, comes from, you don’t have to look any further than Late Night. While the rest of my classmates were watching Thundercats and Looney Tunes, I was busy being molded into mostly well-meaning smartass by Dave, Paul, Biff, Hal, Larry Bud Melman, and the crew. I didn’t understand that I was about 20 years younger than the target demographic; I just knew that I liked it.

Today’s late night talk shows are all about creating scripted segments that’ll go viral on YouTube the next morning. Late Night was nothing like that. You strapped yourself in for an hour where just about anything could happen on any given night, and sometimes it felt like everything was being made up on the fly.

Late Night wasn’t about big guest stars,²Although it had them, particularly in the later years. it was about a goofy-yet-likable guy with a razor-sharp wit having fun for an hour every night after the network bigwigs had gone to sleep. It was irreverent, but not insulting. It thumbed its nose at the establishment, but it didn’t give it the finger. It was edgy and comfortable all the same time. It was perfect.

There was the show on an airplane. The night they hurled a speeding train into aquariums filled with guacamole. The time Dave dropped stuff off of a five-story tower. The one where Dave and Biff crashed into a wall of condiments. The night they crushed things with a stream roller. And the show where he crushed things with a hydraulic press. There was Dave and Harvey Pekar interrupting the live local NBC affiliate newscast. There was Dave interrupting the Today show. The one where Dave tried to convince pedestrians (via bullhorn) to bring him hot dogs. When GE bought NBC, there was Dave’s attempt to meet the new bosses. There was the night Dave sat in the multi-axis trainer. There was Meg across the street. The time Dave hassled an LL Bean employee. The night when Dave was too tired to do a show and somehow got Terri Garr to take a shower on-air. The time when Dave and Larry Bud Melman greeted people at the bus stop. The show when Dave and Jane Pauley simulated a segment as if they had inhaled helium. The time they redubbed an entire rerun episode with no explanation at all. The human sponge suit. The velcro suit. The fire suit. The Rice Krispies suit. The Alka Seltzer suit. The magnet suit. The dumb ads. The supermarket finds. The monkey cam. The prancing fluids. Dave’s record collection. Hal Gurnee’s network time killers. Stupid pet tricks. Stupid human tricks.

Everything Late Night was doing on television back then wasn’t being done anywhere else, and has only been poorly imitated since.

Speaking of poor imitations…

In middle school, we had to do a project on a some terrible book about local history³I’m sorry Mrs. C, but Autobiography of a Spoon really sucked. and for mine I did an episode of Late Night, complete with an opening monologue, my best friend playing the keyboard as Paul, and an interview with a high school girl acting as the author. I find ever find my VHS copy of it, I’ll try to digitize it so you can all laugh at me.

When I went to band camp⁴Shut up. one summer, my roommate⁵The same friend who had played Paul in the video. and I covered the door of our dorm room and most of the hallway with Top Ten lists we had created. While my friends were transitioning from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to Saturday Night Live, I was constantly making references to Late Night skits that no one around me got. I’ve been throwing around pencils and cards for 25 years, and I’m still a little disappointed when there’s no sound of glass breaking.

You can’t go home again

I remember watching Dave’s first show on CBS on August 30, 1993. When he came out wearing dress shoes instead of sneakers, I knew things were never going to be the same.

The Late Show put on a valiant attempt⁶Particularly in the early years, not so much since 2000 or so. to take Late Night‘s zany, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants approach to television and remold to work in an earlier time slot, but it just wasn’t really ever possible. 11:30 p.m. Eastern⁷10:30 Central! wasn’t the same as the 12:30 a.m., and Dave was being paid way too much to just have a show doing whatever he felt like each night. The powers that be at CBS wanted a show that brought in big stars for interviews and was safe enough for Ma and Pa to watch as they drifted off after their late local news. That’s not really the type of television that David Letterman was interested in.

The Late Show never had the same snarky bite and casual indifference for authority that its predecessor had. It couldn’t thumb its nose at the establishment, because it was the establishment.

I watched The Late Show pretty regularly throughout high school and college,⁸I even skipped a week of school to go see a taping of the show in 1999. but then not so much afterwards as adult life crept up on me. I haven’t really watched it much at all for the past decade. Occasionally, I’d turn it on when I wanted a quick chuckle and the chance to reminisce about the glory days of Late Night and my youth.

“There is no ‘off’ position on the genius switch.”

Over the years, Dave and the talented, hard-working people around him have provided me with thousands of hours of entertainment. He didn’t invent late night comedy, but he certainly reinvented it. Conan, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, Craig Ferguson—they’re all funny, but they don’t even come close to Letterman in his prime.⁹Leno and the other Jimmy are terrible though.

For better or for worse, Late Night and The Late Show formed a big piece of who I am today.¹⁰Mostly the part that annoys The Wife.

David Letterman isn’t a perfect human being, and he would be the first person to tell you that. He’s never styled himself as a thought leader or a role model. He’s just a guy who wanted to entertain America for an hour each weeknight. And at that, he succeeded brilliantly.

Thanks, Dave.

• 1
  Fortunately, NBC came to their senses in 1987 and gave Dave five nights a week.
• 2
  Although it had them, particularly in the later years.
• 3
  I’m sorry Mrs. C, but Autobiography of a Spoon really sucked.
• 4
  Shut up.
• 5
  The same friend who had played Paul in the video.
• 6
  Particularly in the early years, not so much since 2000 or so.
• 7
  10:30 Central!
• 8
  I even skipped a week of school to go see a taping of the show in 1999.
• 9
  Leno and the other Jimmy are terrible though.
• 10
  Mostly the part that annoys The Wife.